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Yes, Iowa. Kids, you know things are getting pretty strange in the world when a state known best for... well... hmmm....maybe corn?...has found a way to give the nod to same-sex marriage before so-called bastions of liberalism like New York has. But in this case, strange is fine by me.
The story: Yesterday, an Iowa county judge ruled that the state's law "allowing marriage only between a man and woman violated the constitutional rights of due process and equal protection." As such, couples of the same-sex would clearly have a right to marry. Expect a lengthy appeals process to ensue, but in the meantime, county officials have been ordered to process the marriage licenses of the six couples who originally brought the suit. And not surprisingly, calls are coming in from other gay couples around the state who want to take advantage of the ruling before it has any opportunity to be overturned by a higher court.
Hooray! And yes, I know it may be way too early to celebrate, but there's so much depressing news out there as relates to gays, that it just feels good and right to fete even the tiny steps forward.
Just when I think I've lost all my love for Gawker, they go and remind me why I once loved them so much: in this case, by posting this remarkable clip of MSNBC's Tucker Carlson admitting that he once physically attacked a gay man who made advances on him. Gawker asks: Did Tucker Carlson just admit to a crime? The answer is, absolutely--and I hope the man whose civil rights he violated comes right out of the woodwork and nails Tucker's butt to the wall.
Not to worry, though--this one isn't going to sleep quietly: GLAAD is now speaking up and asking Tucker to apologize for his comments. That oughta show him.
Ahh, the sweet smell of hypocrisy: in case you don't live in a city like New York where our daily tabloids splash everyone's business all over their front pages, just wanted to share the story of Senator Larry Craig of Idaho--Republican, natch--who was recently busted, and plead guilty to, engaging in lewd sexual (read: homosexual) conduct in an airport bathroom.
Now, far be it from me to revel in any person's misfortune, but this is a guy who has staked his political career on denying equal rights to gays, who was in the past suspected of engaging in sex acts with minors (though never charged), and who has gone out of his way to deny--repeatedly and over a roughly 25 year period--rumors that he is gay. And now, here he pops up, soliciting sex from a male undercover cop in the Minneapolis airport.
I suppose there's something in this that's very sad--something deeply depressing about a man who's worked his entire life to hide/repress the truth of his sexual identity and urges. Yes, there's something infinitely sad about that. And maybe if he were just any man, rotting away the lives of the people in his family alone, I might be more inclined to indulge that sadness. But the fact that this happens to be a man whose votes on the laws of this land impact the lives of millions of Americans, disinclines me from feel too terribly sorry for Sen. Craig. Mostly, I just want him out of office--because anyone whose hypocrisy runs this deep shouldn't be trusted in a position of leadership. If you're gonna hate on us gays, and deny us rights, then please at least do us the courtesy of not being one of us on the sly. We kinda hate that.
Seriously. This place is hot. And wet. And tho in some instances that might be a good combination, for my taste this environment is nowhere near hospitable. The physical environment, that is. The emotional, human component makes up for a lot, tho. That, and the unbelievable food.
Since I've spent just about every minute of the last 4 days thinking about the lasting devastation of Hurricane Katrina, I think I'll use this opportunity to think about something else. Like Hillary Clinton. I'm hoping that despite the fact that I'm Mississippi I'll still be able to watch the Logo/HRC debate tonight (god bless wi-fi). But because I was up to my neck in boiled shrimp at the Imperial Palace Casino buffet last night, I missed the AFL-CIO debate.
I haven't had a lot of time to dig around for feedback on what went on, but I do see on Feministing that there's a little bit of outrage brewing over the fact that Hillary referred to herself as a "girl" during the debate And it's funny: though under normal circumstances I might have the intellectual space to delve into the ins and outs of what that kind of slip of the tongue might mean--to the women's movement, to the political sphere, etc.--something about all the freakin' reality down here makes it a little bit harder to get riled about something which, in the grand scheme of things, is really so minor.
Nobody who was planing on voting for Hillary is not going to vote for her simply because she called herself a girl on one occasion; and frankly, it's probably a wise move for a woman who gets painted as "too hard" by the media to try to soften that image as she gets closer to having to woo voters who are not her natural constituents. It's all a game, right? And Hillary's as expert at playing it as anyone else (and so far, better than any other American woman). So why are we liberals so constantly surprised when she "fails" the various purity tests we put to her? She's out to win a general election, and sadly enough, in order to that she's going to have to sell her soul...again. Time to either get used to it--or find a way to back a different candidate to win the nomination.
Tonight's You Tube/CNN debate, which wrapped up just moments ago, crystallized one thing for me once and for all: John Edwards won't be getting my vote. Why? Because despite the fact that I think his wife is dope:
1. I don't have any interest in hearing again about how "difficult" the gay thing is for you personally. Struggle with it all you want; let your little Southern baptist heart twist and bleed over who Jesus really meant when he preached for the care and inclusion of the least among us--I just don't want to hear it. And anyone who can't come to a place of equality for all, especially in the secret recesses of his heart, would never get my vote anyway.
2. Picking on Hillary Clinton's wardrobe is a petty, stupid thing to do. Does it matter that she's the only woman on that stage? Yes, it does. And to go after a woman like that, even in a joking manner, makes you, John, look small and mean. Not to mention that smirk. That you don't like her is made clear enough in other ways; spare yourself the embarrassment of looking like--and acting like--a chauvinist by dismissing her choice of outfit. A moronic move, any way you cut it.
I'll say it one more time: I sure wish it was Elizabeth Edwards, not John, who was up there running for office. Now, that would be an interesting race.
To be honest, I didn't really enjoy living in the state of Massachusetts when I had to be there for graduate school. Boston was too cold for me, and too parochial in too many ways. But despite my own hard feelings about the place, today I find myself wanting the legislature of Massachusetts a big old pat on the back for defending the rights of gays in their state to marry.
Yesterday, the legislature "blocked a proposed constitutional amendment that would have let voters decide whether to ban same-sex marriage." The amendment was defeated 45-151 (it needed 50 votes to pass), which, as you can guess, it a good thing for those of us who believe that equality means giving the same right to all people (not just those we deem somehow "worthy"). No vote among the public means that same-sex marriage in Mass is safe for now... God bless all those lawmakers who stood up and just said enough already. Maybe they could have a few words with their brethren here in New York?
Thanks to Maureen Dowd's column of yesterday, I was alerted to an op-ed piece that ran in the Times last Friday, written by one Stephen Benjamin. Benjamin was formerly a petty officer in the United States Navy, serving as an Arabic translation specialist--a post in which, in case you hadn't heard, our military is severely understaffed.
About a year ago, Benjamin was expelled from service under the "Don't ask, Don't tell" rule, which bars gays from serving openly in the military. His op-ed portrays as well as any other I've ever read just how hypocritical and dangerous the policy is, and why, for all of our safety, we would do well to be rid of it.
And this one we can't even blame on the Republicans alone. Dammit, Bill...
There is, believe it or not, a price to be paid for spouting your hatred in the open air. It may take half a year for that tax to be levied, but levied it shall be... at least of you're part of the cast of Grey's Anatomy.
Isaiah Washington, he whose tendency to rail against a specific co-star with homophobic epithets has been well documented, has now been released from his contract, according to both ABC News and the NY Times.
Apparently, though, Isaiah is pissed about all this retaliation, and swears we haven't heard the last of him. Oh, but can't a girl dare to dream???
Last summer, when Jess and I spent about 10 days in Ethiopia with the organization AMREF, we came up with a little joke to make ourselves feel better about our status in a country (nevermind a continent) where our relationship is illegal. We took to calling each other "Criminal Smallz" ("smallz" being our most common nickname for each other), and it's a moniker we still volley about in jest from time to time. For us, by now, it's become a somewhat quaint reminder of our time in Africa; it's an inside joke--but one that's funny, of course, precisely because it's not our daily reality. We got to come home, to New York, where things are (relatively) safe for ladies like us.
Today's article from ColorLines reminded me of just how bad life might be if we had no such home to cling to. I won't enumerate all the terrible things that happen to gay folks in many parts of Africa, but suffice it to say, life is no bowl of cherries. The one ray of hope that activists point to, however, is the rise rise of the Internet, and the sense of community that can provide for isolated gays... Thank God for small favors.
Though I see that the Very Reverend Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury, and thus head of the worldwide Anglican Communion (which includes those of us who are American Episcopalians--for now), was trying to stem controversy by not inviting V. Gene Robinson, an openly gay bishop, to the big, once a decade party he's throwing next year, I find myself crushed by the thought process that brought this decision about.
True, Robinson's ordination touched off a firestorm of recriminations throughout the church (both nationally and internationally), and yes, the church is, many believe, on the verge of a true theological and ideological crisis. But how making the unkind and ungenerous move of pointedly excluding Bishop Robinson from participation at the Lambeth Conference in '08 is meant to fix those issues is truly beyond any logic I can fathom. (And no, the Archbishop's similar exclusion of the possibly illegitimate Bishop in VA--appointed by internal church foes of LGBT inclusion--does not make it any better.)
I do not mean to judge the Archbishop, but all I can say is that until now, I've felt proud and optimistic about my affiliation with the Episcopal Church; I've been moved by the words, the sentiment and the strength of Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori (head of the Episcopal Church here in the US), and her defense of the right of people of all kinds to serve in this church. And I've even found some hope in the fact that, until now, the Archbishop has refrained from letting bigotry mark his decisions about the future of this church. But this... this just makes me so sad. For me, and for the other members of this flock who believe in the equality of all human beings. And most of all for Rev. Robinson, who has suffered so much unkindness since his ordination, simply for being who he is and wanting to serve God.
And then again: change is never easy. I suppose that's the thing we must always remember-- even as our hearts are broken a thousand times over.
Not that many of us need any more on a daily basis to make us furious, but just in case you're looking for another hit of "this world is so fucked up I cannot stand it another minute," check out this article in today's NYT about homeless gay youth.
And just in case you're thinking, "How big a problem could that be?" here's a statistic to make you think again: "While gay men and lesbians make up 3 percent to 5 percent of the general population, more than 20 percent of homeless youths under age 21 in many urban areas are gay."
It's grim, people...very grim. (And don't forget to check out the interactive feature for an even more powerful kick in the gut.)
Via Jessica, a rather moving commentary from LA Times sportswriter Mike Penner, who's about to transition to being a female. In an odd coincidence, tonight on 20/20 Barbara Walters will be interviewing the families of three kids who identify as transgendered--and Walters calls it "one of the best specials we've ever done." Even those of us in the gay community likely have a lot to learn about transgender issues; here are two decent opportunities to start informing yourself.
Cicumcision is not something I spend a whole lot of time thinking about, except as it presents itself in my mind as a question (as in: if I had a son would I have him circumcised?), but today's news brings the issue right to the front of my mind. A recent study in Africa has shown that circumcision seems to cut the rate of HIV infection in men having heterosexual sex by as much as 60 percent. That's a pretty startling statistic, and now NYC--referred to some as still being the "epicenter" of the disease--is taking steps to but this new info to use.
As the NY Times reports today, NYC's Dept. of Health and Mental Hygiene is "planning a campaign to encourage men at high risk of AIDS to get circumcised", potentially by offering them free circumcision at hospitals around the city. There are some predictable concerns from some corners that promoting circumcision in this way will be stymie safe-sex initiatives (because men and women alike may come to think that if a man is circumcised then they are protected from HIV), but if the data is indeed correct, the campaign has a chance to save lives.
Other questions still on the table: does the impact of circumcision carry over to men having sex with other men? And what, if any, impact is there on women's HIV infection rates? Salon's Broadsheet reports that a somewhat dubious study has been released showing that women's HIV rates actually increase when their partners are circumcised--but the evidence doesn't quite seem to be there yet to back this one up (not least of all because there could be a whole host of non-biological reasons--see above--for this kind of uptick in infection rates among women).
I don't know what's "right" here but I will say that this news has definitely shifted my thinking about this question of whether I would ever circumcise my own son. Previously, I'd been of the mind that, minus a religious attachment to the practice, circumcision is pretty much a vanity play on the part of fathers who want their sons to "look like" them. Add up the facts that, in our family, there will be no other penis to compare to and that there is real pain involved for the male infant, and I was fairly sure that this was not something I would make a part of our ritual of birth.
And yet, now I find myself feeling somewhat differently about the situation. Part of what really stopped me in my tracks here was being reminded, if I ever really knew the exact number, of just how prevalent HIV is among black males in New York City. The Times reports that 20% of black men in NYC who are between the ages of 40 and 50 are HIV+. That's one in five. And that's terrifying--particularly as someone who will, if she has a son, be producing another male member of black community.
When one in five folks who more or less look like you are infected with an essentially deadly--and highly preventable--disease, I think one's feelings about waiting around to see if the data are exactly right begin to fade. I'm sure I'd feel differently, more cautious, if circumcision was a new and untested practice, whose effect was as yet unknown. But stats like the ones we're seeing here are enough to make your head spin. Luckily, none of this is a decision, in my life, that bears any real weight at the moment, but it should be interesting to see how adult men, when faced with these numbers and the choice, respond--and how that response will differ in communities of color, poor communities, etc.
Or maybe two, is more apt. Craziness over here at the workplace, but even in the midst of the chaos good things happen: yesterday, went with my boss to a panel sponsored by Demos, where the focus was on policies that affect LGBT families. In particular, really interesting research presented on how anti-gay policies disproportionately affect LGBT communities of color; all available in Sean Cahill and Sarah Tobias' new book on the topic, available from Amazon. (The packaging is a bit academic, but don't let that scare you.)
And then, today, had lunch with a friend of a friend who happens to work in the same building as I do but whom I have never, until today, seen in this actual building. We went around the corner to this underground Japanese place that has a great lunch special ($9 for miso soup, shumai, and two rolls) and just chatted about the ins and outs of being 30+ year old lesbians, in relationships, and preparing to walk down the path of conception. She and her partner are farther down that path than Jess and I are, for sure, but I found it so reassuring to talk to someone very much in the process of figuring out "how it all works", more or less at the same time as we are. Plus, she bought me Starbucks afterwards... truly the way to my heart.
You may remember that a while back I told you about how the Episcopal Church is going through a bit of a crisis, and how the group of international bishops that runs the Anglican Communion had basically given the American branch an ultimatum: stop with the gays or else. Well, today, reports are out that the Episcopal Church of the United States has drawn its own line in the sand. The US bishops have rejected the Anglican Communion's call to install a council of international overseers to police the Episcopal branch of the church, and respond to the concerns of more conservative members who want nothing to do with the gays either.
Without being too crass, this is a bit like the Episcopal Church flipping the bird to its non-US brethren--and god bless them for it. How profound is it to see a religious body standing up for the rights of gays and lesbians to be included, rather than shutting the door on them as so many others do? And the Episcopalians had an out: because this move means that there will very likely be a cutting of ties between the Anglican Communion and the Episcopals, they could have very easily ducked out under cover of "The bonds of our community are too important to sacrifice over this issue." But they didn't. They haven't. They're standing up and fighting, saying instead, "Respecting the humanity of all of God's people is too important to sacrifice." What a radical concept. Once they're done fighting this war, it might be worth them having a conversation with some folks at the Vatican.
I try not to do too much gloating over the misfortunes of others, but when justice is served I cannot help but feel glad about it. Today's dose of satisfaction comes by way of the news that Penn State's longtime women's basketball coach, Rene Portland, has decided to step down from her post, with 2 years still left on her contract.
Penn State's saying it was her own decision, but I can't think of too many folks who leave well-paying jobs that they're passionate about without being pushed out the door. And it's about time: the feathers tickling all this into action, of course, are the repeated allegations against Portland regarding her homophobic comments and behavior towards her players. A suit was filed last year by dismissed player Jennifer Harris that sought to take Rene to task for her behavior, and the University's only response (despite Harris' claims having been backed up by numerous alumnae of the program) was to slap Portland on the wrist with sensitivity training and a $10,000 fine. Now that she's posted 2 losing seasons in a row, though, they finally have the cover to clear the decks.
A shame they had to be so cowardly about it, but still glad to see this one sent packing.
For anyone who's known me for more than about 2 years, what I am about to reveal is going to come as a significant shock: this past weekend I traveled down to Tampa, Florida to attend the ACC Tournament--and had an absolute blast. If you know basketball at all, you know that the ACC (Atlantic Coast Conference) is home to some of the best basketball in the nation. Duke, UNC, Maryland, Boston College, Virginia, Virginia Tech--all these schools are part of the conference, which means there's some pretty fierce competition to be crowned conference champions and get an automatic bid to the NCAA Tournament.
In any case, we went down because Jessica had to be there for work and we figured we'd make a weekend out of it (not least of all because it was 15 degrees in New York and 80 in Tampa--hard to beat that). Jessica flew down on Friday morning and I followed her after work that night; our friends Kerryann and Allison also came down for the fun. Jessica and I spent most of the day on Sat at the games and at the pool; then we met up with the girls for dinner in this outdoor mall-like place called Channelside. We ate at a restaurant whose menu featured sliders of many kinds (beef, turkey, tuna), freshly caught fish entrees and sushi. Oh, and the best beer battered fries I've had in a long time. Kerryann's sister and brother-in-law joined us for dinner, but peeled off afterwards when we decided to go seek out "Gay Tampa", smartly enough.
Let me give you this piece of advice: If you're ever in Tampa, just forget about seeking out the gay scene. Here's what happened to us: once we had enough alcohol in our veins (Allison, Jess and I shared a 64 oz. bowling ball filled w sangria; whether it was truly alcoholic is still a question in my mind, but we were happy) we hopped a cab from Channelside over to Ybor City in search of a bar whose name KA couldn't "quite" remember. After walking around for half an hour, asking any vaguely gay looking person we could find for directions, we gave up and got in another cab and headed to some place out in the boonies called Valentine's. Valentine's, when we got there, was a large space occupied by about 10 very sad looking gay Latinos, and if I recall correctly the wind chill in the place left the air temperature at about 20 degrees. It was cold. And dark. And scary. And we had no car to get us home. So we did what any good lesbians would do in that situation: we drank. And played darts. And drank some more. And by 2:30, when the place was packed with salsa dancing fools, we decided it was time to go home. A full night, by any standards.
Of course, Allison and Kerryann found some more fun later that night at a little club called Flirt. But that's their story to tell... All I can say is that I woke up on Saturday morning with a picture of a very comely trannie in my inbox.
I can't say I envy Katharine Jefferts Schori. The (first female) head of the Episcopal Church here in the US just spent her weekend getting her head handed to her, thanks to a meeting of the worldwide Anglican Communion, held in Tanzania.
If you've been paying attention you know that there's a schism in the Anglican Church: Episcopalians make up the US arm of Anglicanism, and for quite some time now, most of those of us who call ourselves Episcopalian have found ourselves at odds with the Anglican leadership--specifically over the ordination of gay bishops and the blessing of same-sex unions (the majority of Episcopalians support those actions, while a very vocal faction of conservative Anglican leaders do not).
Things came to a head this weekend, according to the NY Times, which reports that "the Anglican Communion gave its Episcopal branch in the United States less than eight months to ban blessings of same-sex unions or risk a reduced role in the world’s third-largest Christian denomination." Jefferts Schori, who runs the Episcopal Church, also agreed to the appointment of a special vicar to tend to the needs of conservative members who feel alienated by the fact that the mainline US church is moving in a more liberal direction.
What will it all mean? No one's exactly sure, but it's certainly not a good thing for those of us who believe that the church should be inclusive to all members, gay or otherwise. And the appointment of the "special vicar" (reminds one of the Ken Starr days, doesn't it?) is universally agreed to represent a major "check" on Jefferts Schori's powers. Add to that the fact that a number of bishops at the gathering refused to share communion with the US leader, and you understand why I say hers is not a position to envy. Still, I'm glad we've got her there. She needs all the support she can get.
Props to L.Z. Granderson of ESPN.com for being courageous enough to ask the tough questions about the politics of former NBA player John Amaechi's coming out. Though if I met him, I'd probably give Amaechi a long hug and a pat on the back for telling his truth now, Granderson is right that sooner or later some pro-athlete is going to have to be brave enough to tell that truth while he's still in uniform. Will it be easy? Hardly--and I don't at all dismiss the very real threat to life and limb that said individual might face. But that's what real warriors do: they stare danger in the eye in the name of right, in the name of truth. Isn't it interesting that amidst all this talk of masculinity, Sheryl Swoopes and Amelie Mauresmo--both women--turn out to be the mightiest warriors of all?
Another Ex-Athlete Comes Out? Not Impressed.
Anyone paying attention to the Jennifer Harris/ Rene Portland debacle at Penn State (you know, where the former accused the latter of dumping her from the team for being a lesbian--which, interestingly enough, the former claims not to actually be) will want to take note that the fighting is now over and a settlement has been reached. ESPN reports no figures, a few facts, and a lot of "no comments"; Mechelle Voepel has lots to say about the cop-out the settlement represents for all concerned.
Yes, Iowa. Kids, you know things are getting pretty strange in the world when a state known best for... well... hmmm....maybe corn?...has found a way to give the nod to same-sex marriage before so-called bastions of liberalism like New York has. But in this case, strange is fine by me.
